White hair
Though frosts come down
night after night,
what does it matter?
they melt in the morning sun.
Though the snow falls
each passing year,
what does it matter?
with spring days it thaws.
Yet once let them settle
on a man's head,
fall and pile up,
go on piling up—
then the new year
may come and go,
but never you'll see them fade away
~Ryokan
My grandfather - mother's father - died last Sunday. He was perhaps the closest to me from the four grandparents, and also the last one to go.
He lost consciousness between Wednesday and Thursday - it was a massive brain hemorrhage, and finally succumbed a week later on Sunday. It was no surprise that he went, he'd been suffering from aneurysm for years, but I still feel it. Now probably more than when grandmother died, because now I'm alone, far from my family.
I take comfort in that in the last night of consciousness, he danced with his nurses at the hospital, had fun. I remember him as the funny old man, who always had time for me and played with me when I was younger, though we lived miles and miles apart. In my sadness I remind myself that he is where he is supposed to be and that he lived a good life.
As always death reminds me of the importance of life and not taking anything for granted. Try to hold on to the important people, tell them you love them and never take them for granted. Good night.